Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
