The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
