Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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