OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize