you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize