She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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