I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
