I think my vagina is haunted
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
