the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize