this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
