was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
