Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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