I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
