Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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