So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
