Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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