i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
