They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
