I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize