you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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