Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize