Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
