i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
