i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
