a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
