the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
