So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
