I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
