I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
