I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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