We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
