Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
