Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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