Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
