did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
