i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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