i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
