does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
