Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Two words: blizzard sex
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
