If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize