Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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