You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
