Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
