Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Randomize
