Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
