Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just tell him i said nine months
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
