Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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