At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
