Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
