do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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