i think my tv is drunk
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
