Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
