did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Randomize
