Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
