dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
