If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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