I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i would one night stand the shit outta him
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
