So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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