im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
