dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
