She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
