Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
