Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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