I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize