i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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