well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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