I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize